Anger Management

If there is a way to improve an unpleasant, difficult situation, what point is there in being unhappy? On the other hand, if it is completely impossible to improve the situation or to fulfill our wishes, there is also no reason to get upset, for how will our becoming unhappy help? This line of reasoning is very useful, for we can apply it to any situation.

Patient acceptance does not necessarily mean that we do not take practical steps to improve our situation. If it is possible to improve the situation, then of course we should; but to do this we do not need to become unhappy and impatient. For example, when we have a headache there is no contradiction between practicing patience and taking a pain killer, but until the pain killer takes effect we need to accept whatever pain we feel with a peaceful and relaxed mind. If instead of accepting our present discomfort we become unhappy and fight against it, we shall just become tense, and as a result it will take longer to get rid of our headache. Until we achieve permanent inner peace, or nirvana, we cannot avoid unpleasant, frustrating situations and a certain amount of physical pain, but by training our mind to look at difficult situations in a more realistic manner, we can free ourself from a lot of unnecessary mental pain.

Instead of reacting blindly under the control of ingrained habit, we should examine whether it is helpful or realistic to become unhappy at such times. We do not need to become unhappy just because things do not go our way. Although until now this has been our normal reaction to difficulties, once we acknowledge that it does not work we are free to respond in a more positive and realistic manner.